Even when both husband and wife are fully dedicated to maintaining a happy marriage, keeping a committed relationship may be a challenging undertaking due to the numerous hurdles.
Do you have a sneaking suspicion that your husband is up to no good behind your back? Do you want to discover the most obvious indicators that your spouse has a crush on another woman?
Continue reading to discover the obvious and not-so-obvious signs that your spouse is developing affections for another woman. We’ll take a look at the most evident indicators that your spouse may have a crush on another lady.
#1 – He Uses His Phone A Lot More
One of the most common red flags that a husband may be in love with another woman is if he starts using his cell phone a lot more. This could mean that he’s spending more time on his phone than he is with you, or it could mean that he’s spending more time messaging or chatting with someone online than he is actually talking to you.
He may not be transparent about who he’s contacting, but if he’s on the phone more than usual, it’s reasonable to think that one person is playing a larger part in his life than in the past. If he hasn’t made a new acquaintance that you’re aware of, all indicators point to an infatuation he’s developed on another woman.
If you notice this happening, it might be worth trying to talk to your husband about it and see if there’s anything that you can do to help him focus on his relationship with you instead.
#2 – He Spends A Lot Of Time Around Her
It can be difficult to determine when a married man is in love with another woman, but there are some telltale signs that can help you decide. One of the most obvious signs is that he spends a lot of time around her.
He may spend more time talking to her, hanging out with her, or just being around her than he does with you.
It’s possible that he has to spend a lot of time with this new woman because she’s his coworker. It’s possible he’s choosing to spend time with her as “friends.” In either case, it takes a long time for a nice married guy to develop feelings for another lady.
#3 – He Speaks To Her A Lot
If your husband speaks to another woman a lot, it could be a warning sign that he is in love with her. This could mean that he is neglecting you and not spending enough time with you, which can be frustrating.
The amount of time he spends speaking to her in a group situation is an excellent litmus test. Is he more likely to address her than anybody else? You, too?
Sure, it may be a logical explanation that they have interests and that he simply enjoys chatting to her. At the same time, it’s realistic to suspect he has a crush on her, especially if he ignores you to spend time with her.
If this is happening regularly, it may be time to talk to him about it and see what can be done to improve the relationship.
#4 – He Shows A Change In Behavior Around Her
If your husband is acting differently around this other woman, it could be an indication that he is in love with her.
Is there anything unusual about his conduct around her? Is he being more cautious about what he says? Is he acting more obnoxiously, possibly to impress her? Or does he appear to be nervous?
In either case, if he acts differently around her than he does around other male or female friends, it’s a definite evidence of a crush.
#5 – He Is Doing Her Favors
Another indicator of infatuation is when he goes above and beyond to assist her with certain activities.
He is constantly eager to provide her favors, ranging from minor to substantial. He always reasons why he has to help her and tries to show himself as nice and caring in a pleasant manner.
A spouse should have enough on his plate servicing his own family, especially if he has children. So, by prioritizing her over his loved ones, he’s giving away an obvious indication that he’s developing affections.
#6 – He Has Been Quiet
If your husband has been quiet around you lately, it could be a good sign that he’s in love with another woman. He may not want to talk about what’s going on, or he may be struggling with how to tell you. If this is happening regularly, it may be time to talk to him about it and see what can be done to improve the relationship.
#7 – He No Longer Makes Little Gestures To You
The insignificant little things are one of the markers of a naturally happy and healthy relationship. These are the small actions that your spouse isn’t required to do; the mornings when he prepares breakfast for you, the days when he writes you brief but love emails, the surprise arrangement of flowers for no reason other than he wants to see you smile.
However, if your spouse begins to fall in love with someone else, those modest gestures will gradually disappear out of your relationship. As you become less important in his eyes, he stops worrying about the small things and instead reverts to the bare minimum of his husbandly obligations.
#8 – He Is Getting Distant
Married women often have a sixth sense for when things aren’t quite right with their partner. They’ve usually spent enough time with him to notice when anything bothers them. So, when you get a feeling about something, trust it.
When he’s interested in another lady, you’ll notice he’s distant around you.
#9 – He Becomes Defensive When You Bring Up Her Name
You may notice a difference in his demeanor when you mention a certain woman to him, unless he has a brilliant poker face.
When you bring her up, keep an eye out for a guarded or too apprehensive approach. It’s a dead giveaway that he’s feeling guilty about his true feelings for this specific woman.
#10 – He Is Having An Emotional Relationship
Emotional affairs are more difficult to uncover. However, if he is discussing some of his deepest sentiments with another woman, there’s a strong probability he has a crush on her as well.
“Mental cheating” is common in emotional affairs. It is uncommon for a man to engage in an emotional affair if he is not eventually seeking a physical affair.
#11 – He Insists She Is Only A Friend (Unprompted)
This is one of the most obvious symptoms that he is overly defensive. Sure, if you’re accusing him of having an extramarital affair, he has every right to defend himself. However, if he begins convincing you that she is “only a friend” without any prior allegation, you should be suspicious.
#12 – He Interacts On Her Social Media Accounts
If you suspect your spouse is attracted to another woman, examine their behavior more closely – are there any patterns? Is there a particular new woman with whom he seems to spend the most time? Is he like or commenting on her postings more frequently than before?
If he interacts with her frequently and with long messages on social media, it’s a very good indication that your spouse has a crush on her. This is especially true if he rarely uses social media in general. It’s even more true if he’s interacting with appealing “thirst traps” on her social media accounts.
#13 – He Is Less Involved In Your Life
Is he having trouble paying much attention to your stories, or is he usually uninterested in them? That may be because he’s interested in someone else. When married men develop an attraction to other women in their lives, they lose interest in what their spouse is doing.
Simply begin actively watching his degree of interest in you.
- Is he still reaching out to you without being asked?
- Does he schedule days together, and does he text you while you’re not there?
- Is he aware of what you’ve been up to – job, school, or personal matters — or do you have to remind him of everything?
When he’s preoccupied with another woman, it might be tough for him to keep track of all the significant (and inconsequential) events in your life.
#14 – He Starts Concealing His Financial Transactions
Things he didn’t conceal from you before, he now starts to hide from you. His financial statements, credit card bills, and receipts take on a deeper personal meaning for him.
If you are fortunate enough to look through the bills and receipts and challenge him about an unusual bill or receipt that he holds, he always provides an excellent explanation. And if he doesn’t, he blames you for being suspicious and inspecting his belongings rather than presenting you with a clear response.
If he has suddenly begun hiding his financial statements, it might be because he is spending a lot of money on someone else. His bank statements might include damning proof.
#15 – There Is Less Physical Contact With You
Crushes on other women tend to fade in married guys only after he loses interest in you. So, if he shows less physical love to you or avoids intimacy entirely, it might be an indication that he wants it from someone else.
#16 – He Feels Like A Different Man
A husband that is active, effervescent, and confident is typically a pleasure to behold, but what if your man is unexplainably happier?
It might also go the other way: perhaps the cheerful, easygoing person you met has evolved into someone tight, brusque, and explosive?
Drastic changes in his personality do not occur naturally. Something in his life is triggering these changes, so consider what inspired these actions.
Have you seen a decrease in the frequency with which you fight? Do you having sex more frequently? Are you more playful when you’re together?
As his wife, you should have a good idea of what is motivating your spouse to make new adjustments. If you’re perplexed as to why he feels like a new person, it’s easy to understand that something else is causing all of these changes in him, both good and negative.
#17 – He Doesn’t Appear Excited In The Bedroom
You put on your sexiest lingerie, cook a great meal, and do everything you can to prepare him for an amazing night together, yet you still receive nothing. Or, if you do sleep together, he doesn’t appear to love it as much as he used to, as if he’s only doing it out of necessity.
More than anything else, your sex life has become a ritual. You do the same things over and over, and it always ends the same way.
A spouse who is becoming emotionally and physically engaged in someone else will surely begin to withdraw from you. If he begins to perform less in the bedroom, it may imply that he is getting his fill elsewhere.
#18 – He Makes Jokes About Having An Open Relationship
Some spouses may strive to suppress their feelings and hide their attraction to another woman (or women) for years, while others may take a risk and test the waters for something more.
He doesn’t want to quit his marriage since he knows he loves you, but he would want to be able to sleep with another lady on occasion. So he makes a joke about it. He discusses how strange, but also not strange, it would be if your marriage grew into an open marriage.
He attempts to get you excited by asking things like, “Don’t you get tired of seeing the same old guy all the time?” and, “Isn’t there any other person you’d want to sleep with?”
He’ll attempt to make it seem like a joke while planting the notion in your brain in the hopes that you’ll start desiring it as much as he does.
#19 – He Is Spending More Time Away From Home
You frequently find yourself eating lunch or supper alone. Your husband appears to evaporate into thin air the moment you have to spend quality time together.
It seems like the only time you see each other is in the morning, just before he goes for work, and in the early hours of the night, when he finally returns home from work.
You can’t even recall the last time you spent time together. Business meetings occur at the most unexpected times and in the most unique locations. And, although it’s possible that your husband is just a natural go-getter, it’s also possible that he’s concerned with someone else.
Examining your husband’s excuses will help you evaluate if he is simply a workaholic or whether he is in the early stages of unraveling your marriage.
When you ask him where he is, does he quickly tell you about meetings with so-and-so clients and how such-and-such inconvenience dragged on the meeting for the remainder of the night?
A husband who is up to no good will have a perfectly crafted answer for every single inquiry you ask, as if he was expecting it in the first place.
It’s possible that it’s because he’s spending time with his lover. It’s possible that he’s less eager to spend time with you. He may have to attend extra late-night business meetings on occasion. It’s awful news for your relationship in any case.
#20 – He Is Very Protective Of His Phone
Your husband’s phone had suddenly become his own property. There is now a certain possessiveness and protectiveness towards his phone that did not before exist.
As if this wasn’t enough of a red flag, your husband has developed the practice of wiping his phone clean. This is contradicted by the fact that you hear continuous alerts of text messages or observe your husband beaming into his phone by himself. It’s as if he’s attempting to erase his digital trace entirely—any evidence, anything that might indicate something is certainly wrong.
A spouse who is always on his phone while attempting to remain discreet about it is a classic symptom of early adultery.
When a spouse engages in emotional or physical infidelity, there is frequently evidence of it on his phone. So, if he’s hiding his phone history and call logs from you, that’s another cause to be concerned.
#21 – He Lie About His Whereabouts
To deal with the guilt of being attracted to another woman, your boyfriend may be covering up a much greater deception with innocuous, white falsehoods.
Lying may become a habit for him, the best way to avoid being caught or even face the truth that he has affections for someone else. Lying, like a muscle, gets easier with practice.
If he’s continually lying about where he went, why he was up late last night on his phone, or why he’s been spending a bit too much time at work, it becomes easier for him to lie about other elements of your life together, even when it doesn’t really matter.
These weird white falsehoods are typically used as cover-ups for more destructive lies. If you catch him once, it’s usually a hint that something more terrible is going on.
#22 – He Is Physically Affectionate With Her
Physical contact is an obvious indicator of physical attraction. Don’t fall for his claims that he’s “just a sensitive guy.” When married men engage in unnecessary contact and physical affection with other women, there is typically a reason for it.
#23 – He Is More Sensitive Than Usual
Being attracted to another woman is difficult for a married guy with a conscience because he may be disappointed in himself for wanting a woman other than his wife, as well as disappointed in the marriage in which he feels stuck.
While a bad guy may try to act on his emotions, there is a good chance that a good husband will do his best to suppress both sets of emotions and return to a place where the only woman he desires is his wife, and the marriage is something he values rather than regrets.
As a result, your partner may be considerably more sensitive than normal at this time. Perhaps he’s tougher with his words, or he’s more prone to arguing, whether with you or with anybody who gets in his way.
These are unmistakable symptoms of emotional dissatisfaction and inner struggle, and this period will last until he realigns his sentiments with the man he wants to be.
#24 – This Particular Woman Is Unaware Of Your Existence
So, he’s always around this lady, but she has no idea he’s married? That’s a little dubious. Even if she knew he was married but nothing else about you, that would be suspicious too.
The only reason married guys would not mention their spouses to female acquaintances is because they like flirting with them.
#25 – A Sudden Change In Appearance
On the surface, it may not appear to be such a negative thing if your spouse begins to put more effort into his looks. But don’t be afraid to query why he could have opted to do this.
You probably liked him the way he was before. Other than to attract another female, there’s little motivation for married guys to suddenly wish to improve themselves.
Assume he decides to develop facial hair. Or he started dressed differently. It’s possible he’s doing it for himself. But that’s not typical of married guys, especially if he hasn’t told his wife about it beforehand.
Notice the great new clothes he never appears to wear outside of the office? Is your spouse suddenly obsessed with self-care and body care?
It’s natural to aspire to be a better version of yourself, but has your partner suddenly gotten interested in getting in shape and cleaning up?
One of the more effective ways to tell if your husband’s sudden transformation is intentional or just a natural progression in his personal development is to see how consistent he is with his new care.
Is he still dressed nicely when you go out on dates? How does he express himself while meeting with clients or socializing with friends?
If he’s dressing up for certain events or places, there’s a good probability he’s dressing up for someone in particular.
Pay attention to why he does what he does; what pushes him to style his hair differently? Is this a one-time occurrence, or do you notice a pattern in his grooming?
The most crucial question you should ask yourself is, “Does he dress nicely for me?”
As your dedicated partner, you’d expect his recent fashion obsession to spill over into your dates and your time together.
But if he wears the same soiled shirt or crinkled polo every time you go out, it’s time to ask who he’s really dressing up for.
#26 – He Has Taken Up A New Hobby
Relationships with people who can keep their identity despite being in a lifelong commitment with someone else are the healthiest. Couples who have independent, separate alone moments are generally very happy since the marriage does not smother them.
On the other side, too much alone time might be detrimental. If you notice your spouse engaging in new hobbies
, especially one that has nothing to do with his personality, general interests, or even you, you should be suspicious.
It’s even more suspect if this new pastime consumes almost all of his time. Suddenly, this newfound passion is the most essential thing in the planet. His calendar revolves on it, and he’s irritated every time he has to reschedule or cancel arrangements.
He may blame it on stress or a desire for release, but the fact that he’s getting so worked up over it could indicate that he’s looking forward to it a bit too much.
Again, it’s possible he wanted to try something new. However, it’s worth checking to see if his new love enjoys that interest as well. This might be another reason for him to spend time doing the same thing as her, or it could be an attempt to make her feel attracted to him.
#27 – Others Have Made Mention Of The Chemistry
This might be one of the most obvious signals that your spouse has a crush on another woman. If other people, such as family members or common friends, see the romantic chemistry between them, it’s not only you who has doubts.
#28 – He Enjoys Talking About Her
Try to recall how you felt when you first fell in love. Your chest feels like it’s going to burst from the butterflies flitting around within, and when you’re not with them, all you want to do is brag about how wonderful they are.
Try to picture having that same emotion again, but this time you’re married and committed, so you can’t express your love pleasure. It may be painful to consider your spouse having emotions for another person, but if he does, the clearest indication of such sentiments is when he begins talking about another lady.
He inserts her name into seemingly innocuous talks, referring to something she said or something that occurred to her. Your husband’s attraction to a woman may not always be unknown to you; in many circumstances, it will be someone you’ve known for years.
He’ll seem as if he’s just curious or caring, but in reality, he’s trying all he can to get rid of the sense that he can’t get over her, even if it means talking about her with you.
#29 – He Saves Mementos Or Photographs Of Her
This is yet another indication that he is too loving. It is unusual for female friends to provide a present worth preserving. You should be the one lady he wants to remember.
#30 – He Makes Less Affectionate Gestures To You
This is more of a symptom that your relationship is losing its shine, but it might also indicate that he is developing feelings for other women.
#31 – He Has An Unexpected Interest In Condoms
This isn’t a sure sign of physical cheating, but it is a huge red flag. There’s not much else that would entice your spouse to reintroduce condoms into a relationship after you agreed you didn’t need them.
In most situations, he’s either purchased them to use with other women or he’s concerned about passing on an STD to you.
#32 – More Disagreements in Your Relationship
In a failed monogamous relationship, what comes first? The squabbles or the man’s interest in other women. In any case, if you’re always arguing in your relationship, the odds of his developing a crush on someone else increase.
Sometimes a man would instigate tension in your relationship to distract himself from his own actions or to make himself feel better for betraying you.
#33 – He Accuses You Of Having Affairs With Other Men
This is an excellent example of an argument a spouse may use to deflect and justify his own heinousness.
Most of us are ordinary people with no sociopathic inclinations. We have a hard time lying, manipulating, and deceiving, especially when the person we’re betraying is the person we’ve spent years in love with.
When a husband feels like he’s betraying his wife by seeking another woman, he’ll begin unconsciously blaming her for what he believes he’s guilty of. This is known as projection, and it is something that guilty individuals use to help them cope with their inner anguish.
The guilty husband knows in his heart that what he’s doing, feeling, and thinking is bad, so he starts believing that his wife is doing the same thing to feel better about himself. This leads him to believe that his actions are less heinous and, to some extent, justifiable.
So, ask yourself, has your spouse recently grown more envious? Is he questioning every encounter you have with a man, and has he been looking into every male acquaintance you’ve had in the past?
#34 – He Does Not Wear His Wedding Ring Around Her
Other than the fact that he has a crush on her and doesn’t want her to know he’s married, there aren’t many possible reasons he’d do this.
#35 – Her Name Is Accidentally Mentioned
If your spouse accidentally mentions her name when he’s talking, it’s a sure indicator she’s on his mind a lot. It’s known as a Freudian Slip. Let’s hope this doesn’t happen during sexual intercourse for the sake of both of you.
#36 – He Has Joined Her OnlyFans Account
If your spouse has OnlyFans loaded on his phone, he’s undoubtedly using it to look at other women’s nudes.
There are a lot of normal ladies submitting spicy stuff on OnlyFans these days, and an even greater number of males are paying to see their spicy photographs.
Many males prefer it to conventional porn because they can give and receive messages, allowing them to have a greater emotional connection with the makers.
#37 – He Makes Comparisons Between Her And You
There is no reason for an emotionally smart husband to behave in this manner. Even if he’s comparing innocuous things like hairstyles, he’ll know this will irritate you.
However, if your spouse has his sights set on a coworker or another acquaintance, you’ll see how readily he compares the two of you. And it’s not because he wants to hurt you. Guys who are drawn to women can’t help but notice all the wonderful aspects of her, from her hairstyle to her tiniest behaviors.
There are several ways to compare. From the more direct “why can’t you be more like X?” to “I appreciate the way X does this; would you consider doing it as well?”
To him, comparing you is a harmless method of transferring the characteristics he admires in others onto his own wife. It’s his attempt to bridge the gap between his devotion to you and his attraction to someone else. He may be unintentionally attempting to recreate all of the things he finds appealing, hoping that by pointing it out, his own wife will do the same.
#38 – He Is Harsher On You
He’s expressing his dissatisfaction with the relationship verbally. That’s generally a hint that he’s getting ready to go, possibly for the other lady he’s been eyeing.
It may appear like there are more negative things about you than positive things about you. He’s become too critical of everything you do, from the way you cook to your attitude to the way you dress. He observes everything you do “wrong” and dismisses everything you do “good.”
Now that he has his sights set on someone else, he no longer notices the wonderful things you do for him and the value you provide to his life. It’s so simple to take you for granted now that he’s got someone else on his mind.
Worse, he might not even be aware of what he’s doing. His desire to another woman may inspire sentiments of allegiance to this other lady, causing a mental schism between the two of you.
#39 – He Ignores Calls in Your Presence
When your spouse does not feel comfortable receiving or making phone calls when you are around, there is a problem. We all have the right to privacy, but not to the degree that he constantly excuses himself merely to answer the phone. It might be an urgent work call, but if this happens frequently, there could be another woman involved.
#40 – He Is More Concerned With His Physique
If your husband suddenly transforms into a gym rat and tries hard enough to change his appearance, he’s definitely trying to impress someone else or switch to their taste. When this happens, you must be extremely watchful and attempt to figure out what is going on.
#41 – He Is More Interested In You Than Ever Before
Yes, it’s the inverse method of deflecting from his physical or mental deception. However, when some men cheat, they typically begin treating their wife like a queen as a result of their remorse over what they’ve done with the other woman.
It’s natural to feel upset when your spouse has a crush on another woman, but it doesn’t always indicate your relationship is gone.
It is quite feasible to talk things through and reconcile, maybe with the help of a relationship counsellor or family therapist.
It may take some time to reestablish trust, but it is achievable. When he realizes how much he has wounded you, he may agree to stop engaging with this lady.